I have traveled to Denmark from New Mexico a handful of times with my oldest from she was 3 months old and twice with both my kids. Let me be clear that traveling alone with two small kids IS a challenge BUT it is absolutely doable when you come prepared. In this post, I share our experience on SLEEP while traveling (the most touchy subject in my opinion). Stay tuned for other posts on traveling including activities/toys for the plane, for what to expect through the airport and favorite gear.
Getting kids to sleep on a plane and while traveling - flying alone with small kids. Very independent 4 month old demanding her own space to sleep on the plane. I was lucky that a seat was available next to us after asking to be moved to an empty row.
Preparing for the time change Mentally
Changing time zones can prove even more of a challenge for little ones than the lack of sleep they get during the journey. It is very difficult to explain to a toddler that they have to stay in bed and sleep if their inner clock tells them it’s mid afternoon. This is not so much of a problem for infants who sleep every few hours 24/7. They are more affected when they start sleeping solidly trough the night and are down to two or fewer naps a day. There are ways to help prepare for this, but I find that the most important preparation to make is for you mentally as a parent. It is extremely frustrating to be unable to catch up on sleep after a long tough journey. Knowing this in advance makes it easier to cope.
Preparing from home: Changing the bed time
You can prepare for this in advance by changing your child’s bed time by 15 mins every few days in either direction (depending on your destination). So, if you are traveling from East to West, you could practice pushing the bedtime to a later time by 15 mins. If you are going from West to East, you would do the opposite, getting your kids to bed 15 mins earlier every few days. This takes dedication and time, but is definitely worth doing for shorter trips (where you won’t have much time at your destination) and for destinations only a few hours different from your time zone. I find that for our Denmark trips which is 8 hours ahead, it makes little difference if the kids have learned to sleep an hour earlier. Their days are completely turned upside down anyway, so I prepare for a few rough days and then it gets easier.
How far should you travel with small children?
If we want to visit the grandparents, we have to change time zone by 8 hours. It is definitely a tough trip for everyone, especially on those trips where we are only away 2-3 weeks. It takes about a week for the kids to sleep well at night at the right time, so I recommend not traveling any further than you absolutely have to. On the other hand, don’t let this challenge paralyze you. Go on and enjoy the flexibility of your little kids not yet being in school. I wouldn’t worry about 2-3 hours in time change - you may even be fine not getting them adjusted at all to that time zone and instead have them go to bed 1-3 hours earlier or later for the duration of your trip. You want to make sure you have the energy and time to enjoy your vacation, so pick your battles carefully.
Sleep on the plane or doing layovers
I try my best to plan our departures according to sleep schedules. You want to try to get as much sleep in as possible at normal times, but also accept that it may not be possible. Don’t panic if your toddler refuses to lie down and demands watching TV. They might end up falling asleep. Encourage reading books and bring along any items you use for your bedtime routine such as books, teddies and PJs. I love going overseas from West to East because it’s an 8+ hour flight over night which fits the kids sleep schedule anyway. However, remember that the first 2-3 hours on a flight are quite busy and noisy with lights on, lots of notifications and food being served. My kids are not able to sleep until halfway into the flight, so I try to get onto an overseas flight a few hours before their normal bedtime. Last time I went, we were redirected to Copenhagen from San Francisco instead of Chicago which meant that the flight was 11 hours long as apposed to 8. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise because both kids were able to get a decent amount of sleep in before landing.
20 month old napping during a long layover in our Summer Infant lite stroller. Long layovers are great for fitting in nap time, proper meals and diaper changes.
Some flights are not long enough for a good nap or a good night’s sleep - that’s why I have come to love long layovers and a light weight reclining umbrella stroller (or baby carrier for smaller ones). My toddler has often napped in the stroller going through an airport, or at least in a quieter area with me walking up and down the floor.
How to get kids to sleep on a plane - The logistics
Now, how to you get little ones to sleep on a plane without a bed and/or with an infant in your lap? There are a few solutions depending on your child and wallet, but know this: kids are very flexible and can sleep in very awkward positions which is your first win.
My daughter was never a happy lap child regarding sleep. She demanded her own space very early on and mostly only slept if we were lucky enough to have an available seat next to us. On the other hand, she has always been very good at sitting still on me or next to me during our flights. My son, on the other hand, refuses to sit still in my lap (or in a seat for that matter), but will sleep in my arms or in the carrier (after some convincing and pacing the floor…or nursing).
Always ask for empty seats The HOMCA foot rest travel pillow combined with two extra seats to ourselves on our flight out was heaven. The little ones slept really well, although I had to make sure my toddler didn't roll off. I blocked out the light with a blanket. I soon buckled them in to keep them safer in case of turbulence.
Here are some tips for how to get kids to sleep on a plane that have worked for us:
Accept that sleep is a bonus, not a guarantee - and that it may take some work to get them to sleep.
Select seats within the last 10-15 rows of the plane. You are more likely to find open seats in the back and your kids have room to roam. Plus, fewer people will be staring at you if your little one has a melt down (not that you should care, you are doing your best alone with little kids while the other travelers can watch TV all night long).
ALWAYS ask for any open seats on the plane and to be moved to that isle. We almost always get lucky and get extra seats far in the back, at least going out. Also don’t be afraid to ask passengers to swap seats on a full plane. People are very helpful when they see you are traveling with little ones.
When seated, you can hang blankets between the seats to block out the light.
Avoid the infant bassinets in the front row (if traveling alone). They work for some and are a great way to set baby down. However, none of my kids wanted to sleep in them for long and it was impossible to use during turbulence (tested at age 3, 4 and 5 months). Also, the open floor in front of the seats is too tempting for little toddlers who battle sitting still during take off and landing. It is also much easier to distract them with the TV screen right in front of them (which is also a great space for gel clings) and much easier to eat when you can fold down a table in front of you (depending on how squirmy your lap infant is). I also like the privacy it provides with a seat in front of us.
Bring a baby carrier for little ones and an inflatable travrl pillow/foot rest (seat height) which extends the seat for toddler. This works great as a footrest for you too. (Remember to inflate/ deflate after takeoff and before landing. And avoid blocking isle seats with it.)
Bring baby’s lovey, a blanket and follow your bedtime routine. If you have time, change into PJs during a layover or from home, so they are triggered to sleep in as many ways possible. Bringing a blanket helps during potentially cold airports and delays.
Don’t be afraid to ask the crew or fellow passengers for help. Taking my toddler peeing was impossible with my 17 month old - we just didn’t fit in the restroom. I handed him to a stewardess who happily helped.
Prepare for disruption in sleep during takeoff and landing. Keep your toddler buckled in if possible, so you don’t have to wake her up later to do that (and for overall safety during turbulence). Some airlines require your little ones to sit up during take off and landing, and also for your lap infant to be wearing a buckle belt attached to yours. Those are difficult to put on if they are asleep.
If you have the money for your lap child, get a extra seat and bring your car seat. (I have never done this, but the moms I see traveling this way look very relaxed). I wish I could do that for my youngest who only understands how to sit still when buckled into that thing. If they are used to sleep in the car, it’s a great sleep trigger as well and a relief to you. However, traveling alone with more than one child can be difficult if you also have to bring a car seat (there is gear out there for this).
Sing lullabies to yourself and your kiddos - it’s proven to sooth you all.
Know that it will all come to an end and you are a super mom!
Using the HOMCA travel foot rest pillow for our overseas flights. Great seat extension for baby and toddler which helps them sleep on the plane.
(Sleep at your new destination has been moved to its own post. Check it out here)
Happy traveling!