Guess what I did this past weekend... Adulting, at our Cultural Care Au Pair work conference, two flights away, alone, sans baby!!!

Yes, this was my first time away from my 7 month old baby O (who has been very dependent on me so far). Yes, I was very heavy-hearted and terrified as the departure day approached. Yes, I cried a little when I kissed him goodbye. And yes, I was super excited for me (mostly by the prospects of sleep).

As a work-from-home mom who has never had to be away for more than two hours, this was pretty big.

From I decided to go alone, only a week prior, I learned a lot about the logistics of traveling without baby for the first time as a lactating mom (which I will share with you in my 10 tips below). AND, this has been amazing for our family. Let me tell you why.

Excited to have my own hotel room for the first time in years.

Everyone kept saying "he'll be fine!". But will I? And will his dad?

Baby O was off to a rough start with slight reflux, chronic sebbhorea dermititis, eczema and yeast (inflamed itchy skin, really). So much that he has basically been living in my arms or on my breast for the first 6 months of his life. All day, all night.

Every time dad tried to take over, he's been rejected by baby O. Feeding, soothing, sleeping... anything important where dads are big helps was a no-go. Could we have practiced more? Yes, definitely. Did we practice some, though? Yes! I've had a good number of evening meetings where I was almost guaranteed to receive a text saying "he won't take a bottle", "he's been crying for the past hour" etc. Only once I was home did he stop crying. This happened to our friends and my mom as well. Baby O won't even sleep in his own bed making it very challenging for others to step in.

For this reason, I decided to bring him to the conference.

The thought of leaving him behind stressed me out. But so did the thought of bringing him.

How do you pack for a professional weekend away with a baby with just one carry-on and no gear??? (I know, I should be the expert on this). So, I changed my mind and off I went alone with the encouragement and support of everyone (of course no one asked baby O).

But let me tell you, traveling without baby as a lactating mom has its own challenges.

Here I was complaining about always having to fly with baby. Who knew that the preparation, the pumping, the timing of pumping and the emotions of leaving him behind were equally tough.

I have a newfound respect for pumping mothers. Sure it can be done at home fairly easily. And I was SO lucky to find a Medela Freestyle pump (very compact and travel friendly) on Craigslist for pennies. But I suddenly found myself in new territory, scrambling to pump the estimated 120 oz needed for a weekend away. Even more so during my shortened Dallas layover where I managed to do an awkward pump in the women's restroom, too shy to leave the stall while pumping, and slightly stressed about my flight boarding.

I scrambled to quickly change in the restroom stall during my rushed first pumping session outside my home. It worked, but wasn't super glamorous.

Enter: Emily! Dear friend, working and traveling mom and expert on pumping on the go.

I'm SO grateful for the tips and tools she gave me prior to departure. She was even checking in with me during the weekend.

I'll share them here with you because I had no clue, but am so happy someone told me.

10 Tips for traveling with BREAST MILK and without baby:

Airport security is not always sure what to do with moms and their milk. They are likely to treat it as a hazardous threat AND they are likely to forget that this is your baby's food which should be handled in the most sanitary way possible.

Therefore:

Make sure they change to new gloves when handling your milk. They didn't open any bags in Atlanta, but ran a test on the outside of one.
Pack in bags of 3 oz/100 ml or less and they don't have to run a test (according to Atlanta). I dont know if this applies to breastmilk everywhere when traveling with multiple packs.
Use empty bottles with frozen water instead of ice packs. They will toss your ice pack if it's not frozen solid. Ask your hotel (if that's where you're staying) to freeze the bottles for you. Or ask airport restaurants for ice cubes placed in zip lock bags.
Bring a small soft cooler bag, a bottle brush, dish soap and lots of zip log bags to clean and store equipment on the go.
Bring a nursing cover like this one or loose fitting clothes/nursing tops or scarfs if you plan to pump in public (which my friend does all the time). She wears her pumping bra on her belly, then pulls up her regular bra when needing to pump and slides the pumping bra up. (Something I have yet to master).
Let-down is not a given when away from baby. Make sure you have a video of your little one both happy and crying to help your body respond.
Hot showers or diapers soaked in hot water and used as a compress can help relieve clogged ducts. Massage while pumping is good as well. Hand expressing can also help getting more milk out if you battle. Lecithin as a supplement is also known to help prevent clogged ducts.
Plan for plenty of time for security as well as for pumping if you're shy like me. Love long layovers to help reduce stress as well.
I aimed for 30-40 oz per day for baby O when preparing for the weekend. Mind you I had no milk in the freezer at all, so it was hard work. I was just shy of that goal and they actually ran out Saturday night. But we had formula ready which removed some of the stress.
I brought my freestyle pump, 3 bottles, 20-25 bags including some of those you can pump straight into. I pumped around 30 oz/day for my 7 month old.

So how did it go?

My main concern was baby O and dada. Would baby sleep and eat without me there?

It was a rough first night for dada. Apparently, baby O has a preference for warm milk at night but not during the day. Dada had to learn this.

But baby O was taking the bottle!! Eureka!

Dada seemed to be thriving the second day, so much that he actually invited guests over for board games (he admits to being a little ambitious).

My other concern was pumping on the go.

I will nurse my baby anywhere, anytime. But I battled with pumping without the justification of a baby present.

Good news: everyone admires moms who feed their babies - directly or indirectly.

I had my first public pumping appearance at the conference with 600 Au Pair consultants, mostly women. If that's not a safe place, I don't know what is. I walked the halls and rooms with my milk snob covering my top. The ones that noticed what was actually happening underneath commented "you're a good mother" or, "I remember those days". Others just smiled. I was VERY self-conscious and so shy, but I had no reason to be. It's necessary and natural!

Ruined milk

I made the mistake of adding dish soap to the bottles without washing them right away before going down for dinner. I forgot about this coming back very tired from dinner. I ruined about 18 oz of milk because I distributed the contaminated milk to other half full bags! Cannot recommend!

Clogged ducts

The unforseen challenge (and absolute sleep stealer) is clogged milk ducts. I battled emptying my one breast which resulted in increasing pain and long pumping sessions before bedtime and in the middle of the night. Goodbye good night's sleep.

Feeling silly and untrue to my 'you can do this, mama'-approach, I braved up to pumping in my seat on my return flight!

But the logistics of getting the bra as well as bottles on and off and not spill anything does take some practice. Like my training manager said, "it ain't always pretty".

Pumping in my flight seat for the first time! It can be done discretely.

So how was this good for our family?

Baby O and toddler E got to bond more with dada. I'm sure it's been very special for them.

I believe dad has grown a little more confident from having to do this. This has been his mini-paternity leave (something all dads benefit from). He did say that I could go away on weekends anytime I'd like, so it must have been a success. I fear all his hard work was a bit undermined once I was back, though, just because of baby O's preference for the 'real thing'. But at least we know it can be done.

I had some professional me-time and was able to focus and enjoy the moment. More importantly, I learned to let go a little. I will definitely not hesitate to delegate more when it's extra rough.